feeling on the verge of sadness so I write a free-verse–helps to set me free.

I'm mean to you
I'm mean to myself
tho I don't mean to be

It's this feeling inside
my stomach bloated with inertia
aches in my joints
makes me mean
keeps me mean
yelling at the dogs
"stop it--stop scratching"
they don't stop

impossible to be mean to a dog

better to yell at a husband
find a fault in him
hammer it to the ground
nail it in the coffin
start a fight
round 1, round 2, 3, 4
I won--you hate me
but I hate you more
I win
count--1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,=10
knock out
he's down on the floor
what a fight!!

let's get out of town
to the ocean edge
where water drowns
the edges
danger--
better just to
stand on the edge

Do I have to
 I live with myself
it's the only life I own
my luck--just renting
waiting for doors to open
then take the elevator up
where Trevor Noah's theme is playing
stuck on stanza 1 and 2
I've got more complaints with no solutions

Be grateful I heard from somewhere
it went in one ear and managed to stay

I'll take another breath on that
and a sip of Scotch....

                                            on an old elevator
                                            dropping downwards
                                            whoosh-- too fast
                                            my stomach or heart
                                            I wake up just in time
                                            August 4, 2020, genie Nakano