feeling on the verge of sadness so I write a free-verse–helps to set me free.

Mean to Me

I'm mean to you
I'm mean to myself
tho I don't mean to be

It's this feeling inside
my stomach bloated 
with inertia
aches in my joints
makes me mean
keeps me mean

yelling at the dogs
"stop it--stop scratching"
but they don't stop

impossible to be mean to a dog

better to yell at a husband
find a fault in him
hammer it to the ground
nail it in the coffin
start a fight
round 1, 
round 2, 3, 4
I won--you hate me
but I hate you more
I win

count--1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10
knock out

he's down on the floor
what a fight!!

let's get out of town
to the ocean edge
where water drowns
the edges
danger!!!
better just to
stand on the edge

Do I have to
 live with myself
it's the only life I own

my luck--
I'm just renting
waiting for doors to open
then I'll take the elevator up
where Trevor Noah's 
theme is playing
stuck on stanza 1 and 2

I've got more complaints 
with no solutions

Be grateful I heard 
from somewhere
it went in one ear 
and managed to stay

I'll take another breath on that
and a sip of Scotch....

                                            on an old elevator
                                            dropping downwards
                                            whoosh-- too fast
                                            my stomach and heart
                                            I wake up just in time
                                            August 4, 2020, 
                                              genie Nakano