Looking Inside my husband’s brain

Sometimes I write for therapy as I did when I wrote this piece. Hideki my husband had a stroke and on his brain a hematoma. He was in the hospital. The hematoma was bleeding. Toto had just died and Bodhi was in the hospital with a rare blood disease IMHA in critical condition. I was all alone. Late at night I wrote this piece with eyes closed in automatic writing.
My prayer… December 2020

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in December

my husband had two strokes

total eclipse…

Here we look inside my husband’s brain

a mandala a network of pathways interfacing in his head.

his brain is bleeding

a hematoma lies on top of the right hemisphere

yes, the brain is divided into right and left hemispheres

 completely different and divided by

I think he uses his mind too much

can we calm it down so he can live a little longer?

he is 80 years old but his heart is strong

he s lively and energetic strong-willed

dear god

give him a chance to live

he’s a good man

Right now, he is teeter tottering on life and death

so, they say– maybe this is not so true 

they don’t know how strong he is

leave him alone. He’s fine.

Something warm and tasty

that’s what the world needs right now

that’s what I need right now.

something savory that soothes my tummy

mom’s macaroni and cheese my favorite

childhood memories of Barbara and me

we wore our rainboots to school

we splashed in puddles

that was the happiest time of my life.

dad and mom were living together

in long beach

little did I know they weren’t happy.

teeter tottering

on life and death

doctors tell me

the solid truth

happiness is a bubble that protects you…Genie Nakano, August 24, 2021

Hideki in February 2021


The hematoma is gone.

The hematoma is gone, Feb. 2021 photo of MRI by Genie Nakano


Photo by Francesco Ungaro on Pexels.com

The first thing I notice
you are sprouting wings–
I once had huge flamingo pinks.
I traded them in for dragonfly wings.
They work just as well.

compact, discreet
–under clothes
no one knows
you can fly
anywhere, anytime

is smaller now lighter now
doesn't mean better
dewdrop wings
dewdrop worlds
But do as you please
fly to Texas toot big guns
howdy partner
come along cowboy
ride my bronco

Angel man
keep growing those wings
we'll fly out of here.

Genie Nakano, 2016--revised, August 17, 2021

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