I left the world. It was getting too heavy, surreal like a Dali nightmare. Clocks falling off trees, big blinking eyes in the clouds. Plus a pandemic was going on. The White House announced it on Friday and the Eagle didn’t fly. So I decided to leave the world. I made a deal with my dreams. The deal was–pick one of my dreams and I could be there.
I chose the misted magical forest with a small stream running through it. This dream was special because it had a marvelous scent. Though my dreams are always in color most are not gifted with fragrance — this one was. As soon as I got there–I knew I made the right choice. I was in bliss the moment I opened my eyes.
There weren’t any people around so this made life easier — only me. I walked around and thought about people. What I liked about them and also what I didn’t like. It started to become a comedy reel — seeing all our blunders in one big laugh. Well that didn’t last long. Very quickly, the tears started falling. I couldn’t figure out why there are so many killings, wars, poverty, and suffering. And then this pandemic that was killing more and more people everyday. The plumber told me it was God’s will. But is god that cruel? I wanted to say–Buddha wouldn’t do that. But I didn’t think of that until he left. Then my neighbor chimed in and said the pandemic was the Democrats fault. A cold wind started blowing hard — a good excuse to go inside, close the door and leave the world.
It was twilight time and I started to miss people. So in this world of bliss, I decided to leave and return to L. A. Because of my age, I’m quarantined. But I think I’ll make life. I’m breathing pretty regularly. After all, I like humanity–people scurrying around doing things I don’t understand. I want to keep my heart in meditation mode–wide open. So in ten more breaths — I surrender.
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I am here–home.
Genie Nakano, March, 2020